February 23, 2013

Helping others without getting anything back

See those? Those are SNAILS!
Today, after sixth period, I was walking to the corner, near the lockers, so I could walk to the school bus with my host sister... when I stepped on something crunchy. Terrified I looked back in case I might have stepped on one of these poor and innocent little souls! :O ..... However, it turned out to be just a piece of bark -____-
For a split second I felt a tiny hole in my heart and thought to myself: "Wow... it's been quite some time since I last saw a snail like this (Yes, we have blue snails in Denmark... And they eat unicorns. They're pretty awesome.), and I felt like something was missing. How come I haven't seen a snail for so long? A slimy little snail shouldn't be that hard t---- and then it hit me!

.. I mean.. it's not that I already know or something. It's not that I've realized that I'm in a completely different world over here... or that I'm not speaking in my native tongue... or that school is way too easy... or that I see FAR from as many blondes as I usually do... or that home is but a Skype call away!
I know. Sometimes it just hits me, like today, and during those moments I just stop. I stop, take a breath, look around, blink a couple of times, and think to myself: "What the heck did I get myself into?"
My friends must have thought I was crazy back when I told them I was going to be an exchange student... and I've grown to think they were right.. or at least that this decision was.
Sometimes when I sit down alone, and think about life, and figure that I'm hungry, and go grab food, and go back to my room, and think about my life.. the constant thought of what-would-I-have-been-doing-if-I-had-been-back-in-Denmark-right-now hits me. What WOULD I have been doing? I'd probably have been drowning in homework and large assignments like my friends right now... and when I finally had time, I'd be considering my costume for the big upcoming dance. It doesn't sound very interesting, but often I think of stuff that I want to do, realize that I'm here in America, and force myself to turn down that idea because it just wouldn't be possible. (It's okay though. I have a whole entire year to figure out my costume and make it greater that anyone else's! Muahahah!).
So on the other hand... this is nice and relaxing year for me. I've definitely learned a lot already and I feel like I've grown a lot mentally. I've been through some stuff that has simply prepared me for life - and all those arrogant butts out there whose behinds seem to be the things they're thinking with.

Nonetheless, there ARE nice people out there who will, in any case, be there for you and be ready to help you if you need it.
I want to share with you my last week and two examples of my above sentence.

Last Friday I woke up and felt terrible from the second I opened my eyes! (I actually felt bad before that, but that's not the point!). I felt rather dizzy and it was as if there was a greater force pulling me to the bed. Of course we all have tried having those lazy-ass moments where we just won't get up - So I got up! (Thinking it was nothing). I lazied around like I always do in the morning, laid down on the floor, checked my stuff, and was being pulled towards the ground by the invisible yet strong force. I swear. It was as if I had put on like 20 kg over the night!
I went to school but had to stay out during my first period - Dance. While I was sitting there, I suddenly felt super hot, then I got goosebumps, then it was like I was sitting in a sauna, then Antarctica!
I proceeded to my second period - English. I couldn't focus on my stuff and now I felt extra dizzy. My host sister had been trying to convince me, through texts, that I should go see the nurse and call her dad, so when class was over, I looked at the "cute senior guy" and asked him if he could do me a favor and show me to the nurse.
I don't always get sick (very very very seldom!), but when I do... I'm DYING! 
"Yeah, of course!" he said and gave me his usual smile. 
He followed me up to the door, gave me a pat and said "I hope you get better soon" before he walked off and I opened the door. 
A good example of a fellow citizen (oh gosh I sound like a mayor) helping out others! 
Except for Saturday where I was feeling surprisingly amazing, I've been stuck in my bed! My host family has been a prime example of giving without receiving. And that is really what it's all about. Put yourself and your own needs aside to sometimes help out others. No you won't get anything from it now but the happiness in people's eyes or voice when you do something nice for them should be more than enough - and even though you don't get anything back now, you will later. That is karma, which I believe in, and trust me, those people will remember what you did for them next time you are the one in need of help.
My host family has been treating me like a princess - a really contagious one. I've been staying in my bed and my sister would come in and feed me, talk to me while I ate, and take out my plates when I was done. She'd also bring me water or painkillers if I needed it - and she even got my homework on Tuesday when I missed school~ (Monday we were off because of President's Day).
 My very very nutritious Thai soup and pear pieces~ I really like that she brought me the chopsticks too! One does simply not eat this kind of food without chopsticks!
 Fahti brought both Angel and I little white bags with this stuff wrapped in from my "host grandmother".
Angel's note that she pushed under my door while I was sleeping.
Treated like a super lazy princess!

Yesterday there was an episode in my ASB class and I really just needed someone there for me - of course I don't show that. Stay tough! - And out of the blue steps my two friends Alex and Kim.
It went something like this~

~~~~~~ Woooh flashback! ~~~~~~
We were standing there making posters for our Sadie Hopkins Dance tonight. I was standing on one side of the table, making my own little poster, and Kim and Alex were standing on the other side working on their own. This guy walks up to me (I would have described him as a friend but I can't seem to find those words anymore) and gets all in my face. (I didn't mind him of course. My attention is what he wants and he ain't getting that!).
"Change your classes" (We're in fourth and fifth period and he's been mad at me for some time now).
"No" I said without moving my eyes from my poster
"Change your classes!"
"No!" I said again with power in my voice, again without granting him a look.
"Why? Go change them!"
"No. Because it's too late" (And why should I? You are not to give me orders. I like this class).
"Go to the office RIGHT NOW and ask them to change your classes!"
All I needed now was to figure the price for the Sadie's tickets and my poster would be done. I looked to the girl next to me and asked her for the price.
"I don't want to see your face anymore!"
Finally I turned my head in his direction, gave him a cold look and said: "I don't care".
I looked back at the girl who had asked around her and she finally told me it was 25 $. Just as I was about to write it, that guy, who had been standing way too close beside all the time, ripped the poster out of my hands! The entire room got quiet and everybody were just standing there in shock! Kim literally jumped on the other side of the table.
I didn't even look at him this time. On the inside I was just as shocked as everybody else, but I didn't show it. I stood there for not even a second before I walked back over and grabbed a new piece of paper at the end of the table. I could care less for my poster. I could make a new one. But our friendship was shattered.
He had stormed out of the room while I went for the paper, and when I came back over, everybody were starring at me. I didn't mind them. I started on my new poster when I heard a girl say something. "Are you okay?" she asked while everybody stayed quiet. "Of course" I said and gave her a smile (You need more than that if you want to hit me, I thought to myself).
Soon people got back to their own stuff but I heard some girls on the other side... "Woah! I would have been afraid! Wow! I'm shaking! Hihihi". 

The fact wasn't that he ripped away my poster and perhaps stomped on it, it was the way he acted when he got mad. I give chances, in some cases second chances, but he has already done stuff like that before and I'm done. I'm not a type of person to ever let go of my friends but I guess there will always be an exception.

I wish we would never have to meet again; nevertheless, I still have about four months here so let's just let him enjoy my presence. Shouldn't we?
I only have one thing left to say to him and that is Goodbye!

This was fourth period and after that was lunch. Kim and Alex, who had been standing there watching the whole thing, came over and freaked out with me a little. They told me that he, apparently, had been just about to slap me but that he probably didn't because they were both standing there on the other side.
"He probably knew that if he touched you, we would have beat him up" Alex said. "I can have two guys punching each other but you just don't touch girls! You just don't!"
They kept asking me if I was okay and when they were sure that I was, they asked me where my friends would usually hang out at. After that they walked me over there (Like bodyguarding. One on each side of me - as Angel said.), went to grab lunch, and came back to spend lunch with all of us and tell about what happened.
I'm pretty good at fooling people. I looked okay, yet they didn't leave my side. For that I am overly thankful. I DID need them there, they reminded me of how amazing it is to have guy friends. Girls would have freaked out while these two stayed calm.

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