June 6, 2013

Dance Final and weird emotions

First, I want to show you guys a picture or two!

Since dance class is my 1st period, I'd supposedly have my final in that class on Tuesday, but my dance teacher decided for us to all perform our dances today and tomorrow so that we could just relax the rest of the days we have back in school.
We all got into groups of 6-8 people and pulled a random dance style from a box; my group got Indian/Bollywood!
The first days we had a lot of trouble figuring out spots and movements as NONE of us had any idea what we were doing. At all. We didn't have any arguments going on but people got offended and frustrated.. that's for sure. We DID, however, end up figuring it out in the end and as if she was sent from above, this suuuuuuper nice freshman girl named Harleen appeared. She just recently started talking to our little group, mostly to me actually, and .. She has such a kind heart. I don't know her THAT well yet but I really like her. You know, some people.. you can just tell that they have a kind nature.

Well, why do we need to know that? Stay on the subject, please!

BECAUSE! Harleen turns out to be a REAL Indian (You never know, she might have been a fake Indian from Mars or something), who moved to America a couple of years ago, and she offered to provide us the costumes; she brought us 4 beautiful beautiful authentic dresses that she normally uses when she goes to her temple. She let us borrow those!!! And they were PERFECT!
In Bollywood dances and Indian dances, the costumes play a HUUUGE role. Right after the music, the outfits are the most important things.

Our team: Angel, Patricia, Elyssa, me, Cassandra, Khla, Prabhjot, and Marvin. Note that both Patricia and Prabhjot are deaf and they STILL succeeded in dancing with us!

The days that we were still working on the dance itself, she would always come over and ask if we needed help with steps or anything. She was also the one to show us a couple of Indian songs.. of which we chose one to base our dance on.
Mundian to bach ke was the name of the one we chose.

A picture of us in the dresses and the girl who let us borrow them! (In the middle)

We got many many compliments on the clothes and they said that the dance itself was very well-choreographed! I smell B's and A's coming up~

My first final is now OVER
And now to something more serious!
I'm having weird emotions these days.

I've realized that, right now, I'm not that hyper happy-go-lucky girl that I've been pretty much ever since I moved down to my new family.
However, I can't say that I'm not happy either. I am. But there is just something weird going on mentally..

I want my blog to be an honest place where I can share with you my deepest thoughts, so I will do my best to describe how I'm feeling at the moment. It might not make much sense though, unless you're an exchange student or former exchange student yourself (In that case you'll know exactly what I'm talking about).

Slowly, my mind is beginning to prepare me for my departure.
I won't say that I miss home. I have never really been homesick over here. I have longed for a few things, but not necessarily home. And not to the extent that I was ready to give up my life over here just so I could get back home to things like snow, school parties, etc.
I've gotten used to things over here that I didn't like.. simply because I had to. I couldn't just go home because I had to stay at school longer than I was used to. I couldn't just go home because I was surrounded by brainless idiots. I couldn't just go home because nutella over here is was too expensive (Like.. HOLY COW it's freaking expensive). So I lived with it. I didn't pay much attention to it. But now.. now I'm starting to realize how many things I am not going to miss when I go home. Did you see that? When I go home.
I have realized that I'm going home soon and THAT is the big deal.

Every day (And I mean EVERY day), one of my exchange friends on Facebook will have posted a picture of them getting ready, their packed luggage, pictures from their last trip before they leave America, or I'll see the statuses they have written either right before their planes take off or after they have just landed back in their own countries. It's hard. It's also hard to explain. I'm happy to know that they're back home safe. Most of them are very happy to be home again. But I am also sad. Every day, a person that I've gotten to know over here will leave me/us and slowly get back to their daily life. Will they remember us? Will they spend their time thinking about us once in a while? Will they keep in touch? It's things like that I wonder.
One by one, this beautiful international community we have created is falling apart. I guess this is something that actually makes me sad. I love the people I have met here and I wish for all of us to always be friends.

Also, every day I somehow get reminded of things at home that I haven't been able to do here, nor have I paid it any attention. I was too busy with my exchange year and I could do it when I went home.. but now that my year has almost come to an end (I literally have 1 more normal day left in school), I think about it all the time. It don't miss it.. then again.. I kind of do. I won't exactly say "miss" it, but I am looking forward to it. Yes, that's the word.. or definition.. or.. yeah.

I have talked to my friends about this the past few weeks and all of them yield to one or the other reaction; either they really don't want to go home or they are looking forward to it ALOT! One thing we all have in common is that we count the days; some because of joy and excitement, some wishing that they each day had just one more day here in America. When it comes to me, I'm confused. I see why I would want to stay here. There are so many things that I haven't done yet, that I wish to do. There are so many people that I have grown to love.. that I will miss. But I also agree with those friends that just want to get out of here. I am looking forward to the rules that I grew up with (Although my hostfamily is pretty damn cool!), I'm looking forward to the norms that I'm used to... but that nobody else here knows, I'm looking forward to friends with less drama. Friends that know my every side. Friends that would know what to do if we ever got into an argument (which we never have).

Do you get where I'm going?
Because I have realized that I'm going home soon, I have started to think of stuff at home. This excites me as I'm really looking forward to doing it again, but it also saddens me because I know that I will soon have to leave my current life.

Mostly it is just the longing for things at home. Of course I am kinda sad that I will have to leave all this behind, but a part of me will forever remain in California and a part of California will forever remain in me. Now the thing is: am I ready to completely turn my life upside down ONCE AGAIN in order for me to get back home? Am I ready for this yet?
And if I'm not, how will I take it when I'm finally back home?

Got questions? 

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